I wish it were easier to come up with good first lines for these things... it always throws me when I can't open well...
Anyway, here's what we've been up to since I wrote last- if I can remember it all.
We woke up the morning after my last post, and off we went to see the Statue of Liberty. Being our stingy back-packing selves, we opted out of the ferry ride to Liberty Island itself, in favour of a gratis trip past the statue over to Staten Island. I've never really been into this whole site-seeing thing... so it was enough for me to cruise on by and look at her, and not have to fork out my hard-earned cash to grovel at her feet. It was kind of cool really... to see this icon, this symbol of... well, I won't go on about the symbolism of it, as it really means little to me personally, but anyway, I was kind of chuffed to be seeing it with my own eyes, in the 'flesh'. So, we just floated past her, and then floated back- New York creeping off into the distance and then edging it's way back around us. Then we dawdled off to Ground Zero, which was somewhat of a non-event. There really isn't anything there except construction workers reconstructing, and a lot of detours and redirected traffic... Part of me was expecting there to be some sort of energy or overwhelming vibe there, because people are so SO passionate and emotional and opinionated about 9/11 over here, but, well, the fact of the matter is that there wasn't- not that I was feeling anyway. Then we were going to head off to the Empire State Building, but Brooke was distracted by Century 21, a MASSIVE department store that sells discounted name-brands... and there went those plans! She had a ball, picking and scraping through the logos and symbols and titles that represent quality, or status, or success, or whatever and handing over less money for them than would be asked for somewhere else. I have never been in a world quite like that place. Already we're in New York, where personal space is some kind of alien concept, a foreign language that they don't understand, but now we're also in a bargain hothouse, and I don't even know how to describe what they're like in there! I felt like I was packed in a sack of potatoes, that was then being vacuum sealed shut. I swear, people actually elbowed me and pushed me out of their way to get to their cheap Chanel sunglasses.
Needless to say, I waited for Brooke outside!
After that experience, I was ready to head back home for an early night... I think we got pizza that night actually- our first taste of New York pizza. Mum's is 20 million times nicer, and far more impressive.
Next day we were off to the Empire State Building. We've spent so much time waiting in lines, and waiting for buses, and waiting on planes, that I have no sense of the length of it anymore, but the lines at that place were epic, and it probably took about two hours to get to the top. Once we were up there, well, it was a little underwhelming in terms of impact, and pretty overwhelming in terms of sheer numbers of people, and the revolting lack of space to even breathe out. This tourist thing really doesn't work for me... I try to get into it, because I feel almost like I should be into it. I feel I should be impressed with these things, because there is so much hype, and so much talk surrounding them- surely there must be a reason for it, right? I mean, if I'm not feeling it, I must be missing something...? But, with the sites, I just feel like I've ticked something off a rather shallow list, and achieved little else aside from that. I suppose that is essentially what it is about, but I guess that's just not enough for me- it's not satisfying, and it's not why I'm travelling, and it certainly is not what travelling is about for me and for my life. I feel kind of gross and squirmy when I'm there in the tourist crowds... there's this little pretentious and condescending voice inside me just screaming and wailing "it's meant to be deeper than this!"
But, there is also a part of me, the part of me that is slowly whittling away at the pedestal which the snobby side of me lounges around on, that still does find it that little bit neat just to be able to say "yep, I've seen that", even if it didn't change my life.
That's one thing I'm learning- there doesn't always have to be lightning and fireworks and deep soul-wrenching upheaval for something to be worthwhile. Sometimes we just have fun because it's fun, and it makes us smile. Ofcourse I knew that before, but I have always had a tendency to get up on my high horse and look down on things for not being 'meaningful' enough... what a bore... yawn Madeline, yawn...
Anyway. So, after the Empire State Building, which despite everything I just said, was slightly lame, we trotted off to the Guggenheim Museum.
Well, we tried to go to MoMA first, but when we arrived, we were informed that it was Tuesday (days of the week become obsolete when you're travelling... I haven't known what day it is for the past two weeks I'd say...), and that the gallery closes on a Tuesday- so we moved on to my old pal Frank. I've waited to get to the Guggenheim for years now, I really love and admire Frank Lloyd Wright, and I've always been really inspired and moved by his ideas, and his work and his artistic vision. All his ideas about nature and the way humans relate and interact with it, and depend upon it for emotional and creative nourishment... blah blah blah, I just love him. And it was really special for me to be in that space. I felt all the things I expected to feel, there was a serenity, a peace and a symmetry in there- everything felt balanced, I felt balanced. And I felt inspired. And there just so happened to be a special commemorative exhibition about Frank Lloyd Wright, so I was flooded with him! It is a special place I think, a place that sort of filled up my tank a little, like now I had the fuel to get out and make something. I felt creatively recharged.
The next day we went down to Chinatown and Little Italy. By this time, I was totally and completely drained. We moved hostels that morning, further uptown, right in the very centre of Harlem... I hadn't been sleeping very well, and the fact is, that I was not made to go and go and go and go all day every day without any time to gather myself and rebuild the chipped and broken pieces... so, I was a bit of a zombie that day, and having people stepping on my toes, following me around their cramped and crowded stores pestering me in broken and shouted english to buy their crappy New York mugs didn't exactly bring me back to life. I was a pain in the butt, and Brooke is a hero to have put up with me.
Sometime around this day- it may have been the day before- I got a message from Mum about the full moon in Capricorn, and how she had told it to say hello to me when it reached New York. That night, I looked up into the sky, and there was no moon to be seen. I craned my neck, and I walked around blocks and I navigated my view around various skyscrapers... but I was suffering lunar deprevation... and the more I couldn't find it, the more the smog and light pollution of that city hid it from me, the more fragile I became until I was a sobbing heap in the middle of the street in Harlem, with my poor, dear friend desperately trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, as I spluttered and stuttered and carried on like a jerk. Anyway, that pretty much sums up my emotional state at that point in time... I was a little drained I guess!
So, that night, I was all ready to curl up in bed at our new hostel. A moment is needed now to describe this new hostel, which was shockingly cheap, as we paid a dollar less for two nights than we had for one in Wyoming... The bathroom was one health inspection away from having that building incinerated. We were in a 14 bed dorm, on a floor with 2 other 14 bed dorms, all sharing this one bathroom. Apparantly everyone who stays in that hostel is prematurely balding, because stepping into that bathroom, you were wading through an inch of hair-thickened, not unlikely disease ridden water that felt like it was seeping into your skin and rotting you from the inside... man was it filthy in there. I've never had a shower and felt like I would have been cleaner had I rolled around in the gutter- until I stayed there. Anyway, I'm raving, and exaggerating. It was pretty gross, but I guess it could have been worse!
The story I am trying to tell has nothing to do with bathrooms! So, I was pretty broken and tired, and ready to stay in bed for a month and never see New York again. But, as has happened a lot on this journey, just when I needed something, it up and offered itself. There was a woman in the bed at my feet who, as I've found an awful lot of Americans to be, was incredibly open and friendly and excited to share herself and her words with us, got to talking, and we had a whole night of conversation ahead of us. Another girl on top of our American friend joined in too, and turned out to be a fellow Australian, which was really nice. So, we talked with them for quite a few hours- well, listened mostly. Something I'm enjoying so very, very much is how open and truthful and honest people are. I love how readily people will open up their hearts and share them with other people, just for the sake of it, just for that feeling of satisfaction and completeness you get from connecting with another human being. I've always had so many walls, and I'm just loving meeting people who don't have any- or maybe they just don't put so much energy into holding their walls up, and they let them lower and bend when it's right and when it's good. I'm also really enjoying the discovery that my walls aren't as inpenetrable as I once thought, and that actually, I've smashed them pretty close to ground level, which is something I never thought I could achieve.
So, Steph and 'Queen Ebony' as she identified herself opened up a lot, and shared a lot, and I learned a lot, and I felt kind of 'saved'. I felt like this was what I set out to find, and to 'achieve', and that this was what travel was for me, seeing things and meeting people and hearing things and being exposed to ideas and experiences that wouldn't be open to me in my own little shell. I went to sleep that night feeling very satisfied and at peace with myself and what I was making of this adventure.
Next day we had a little time to ourselves. I cruised Greenwich Village, which was ultra cool, and was more of the New York I was expecting and looking for. Then we ate some ridiculously overpriced, but even more ridiculously good food. Then we went off to Grand Central Station to meet up with Mel and Ned- Mum's friend's niece and her boyfriend. Somewhat of a loose connection, that turned out so perfectly. I forgot to take my phone with me, and as this was a 'blind friend date', no one knew what anyone else looked like. Brooke borrowed a pen from a bearded man doing a crossword, and wrote 'Melanie' on a train schedule, and I stood for 15 minutes with our makeshift sign in front of my face hoping to heck they'd find us eventually and we wouldn't have to slink back home with our tails between our legs. We actually had one woman approach us, who was meeting a Melanie, and thought maybe her friend had sent us in her place... what were the chances? Anyway, they turned up, and found us, and then they took us out for a really wonderful night. They were awfully friendly, and all too happy to share their infinite knowledge about New York. They showed us the Lower East Side, which really is just my perfect definition of New York, and it convinced us that we had to rethink our plans, and come back to do New York properly before we leave the States. We went out to dinner in Little Italy, and then found the only bar in the area that would let us in without ID. It was called 'Lucy's', and what made my little heart sing was that 'Lucy' actually owned the place, served us our drinks, and as the evening progressed she came over to our table, bought us a pitcher of beer and as she handed it over told us we were to "drink it very slowly, don't you get too drunk".
Anyway, they were really lovely people, and I'm STILL amazed at just how accepting people are, and how readily they embrace you and make you feel at home. Ned's friend also joined us, and had many a story to tell...
We zipped up the road and bought New York pizza at 1 A.M, and I felt very cool... ha ha ha. Then we caught an epically expensive taxi home, and I slept terribly.
The next morning, it was time to head out of New York, and come on down to Pennsylvania. We packed our bags, and lugged them on three different subways down to Chinatown, where our bus was leaving from.
It was THE most bizzare setup I could have imagined for a bus station- straight out of a film. We had the address for where the bus was leaving from, and as we walked down Pike Street, past number 1, past number 2, looking for number 3, two Chinese women sitting on milk crates looked up at us and started yelling "Where you going!?!?!" We told them, showed them our tickets: "You come back 2 o'clock". So we did... and as we waited, more and more people came by, and the same thing... and as the people gathered with their bags and their tickets, the women asked everyone who walked by "Where you going!?!?" and sold tickets to those who needed them... then the bus came, and the women screamed out the destination for a while, opened up the luggage compartments for our bags, and we were off to Philidelphia... what the hell was that... man was it bizzare.
So, here in Pennsylvania, we are staying with the sister of Brooke's neighbour and her husband. I can't even begin to describe how happy I am here! It's so beautiful out here. I really needed to get out of the city, and to breathe a little bit. The trees are glorious, the air is so fresh and clean and real. The houses are so adorable, I could eat them up like little cookies... people are so friendly, they don't push you or knock you and don't always look at you like you're in their way or holding them back. I enjoyed New York a great deal, but it sort of sucks the life out of you to be somewhere that impersonal and that fast-paced too long. Kate and Jorge are so very, very lovely. They are characters, that is for sure. Both have had pretty full lives, and are more than willing to share their stories and their opinions. They've opened their home to us like I can't believe. It is so strange to be in a home, an actual home... and OH MY GOD we have OUR OWN BEDROOMS! I actually have my own space, where I can be BY MYSELF- something I was beginning to feel I would never experience again! Kate is quite the host, she's looking after us almost too well.
But we don't get off scott-free! Oh no. She's holding a party here tomorrow night- a New-England Clam Bake, and we have our duties for the party well set out. We've already carved a whale out of a watermelon to hold the vodka-soaked fruit salad. His name is Davo, and he's my pride and joy at the moment- that whale kicks some serious butt. Tomorrow we're making bibs for everyone to wear as they eat their lobster and whatever other seafood they're cooking...
Anyway, it's wonderful here. It's wonderful to have someone tell us where to go and what to see for just a little while- not to be expected to know it all on our own. You miss a lot that way.
They took us to the theatre today, and we watched a play, which was really a lot of fun, and a nice change of pace from aimlessly walking around city streets. We've had many a conversation now with many an 'aged' person, and I'm loving it.
What I love even more is how comfortable and at ease I feel. I feel like I'm sitting at home with my family, and I love that I've reached a point in my life where I am comfortable enough with myself and with who I am, that I can be comfortable around other people. It makes for a much more meaningful and satisfying experience, and I can just embrace anything. It really opens the world up to you, when you're not always worrying about what someone is, or might be thinking about you. I've had so much fun, and been so happy and so much of that would not have been possible for me only a few months ago, because I would have been so wrapped up in worrying about doing things 'right' or being 'right'... and it's just such a waste of time and energy. Maybe that doesn't make sense in words, but I know what I'm saying in my heart, and I know it's good!
So, that is where I'm at now... We're here for about 5 more days, and then, we've revised our plans so that instead of staying in Boston and New Jersey for the remainder of our U.S. leg, we are going back to New York. We feel like we didn't have the knowledge, or I guess, the hindsight to do it properly, and to finish it satisfactorily, so we're having a break, and going back with the right ammunition to really make the most of it, and do it right. Then we're off to Holland, which I am pretty ultra-psyched for.
As maybe you can tell, it's pretty late right now, and I am kind of tired, and I don't edit these things before I post them- I just write and click. So, it is what it is... there you go.
I'm working on getting some photos up while I'm here- wish me luck!!
Thanks for reading...
Mad.
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